QUIZ
SPOT THE PROBLEMS IN PhD STUDENTS’ THESIS DRAFT MATERIAL (answers at the end)
1. The methodology began with a quick look at the data, followed by a more careful analysis…
2. The subjects were subject to a battery of tests…
3. Given the accepted ‘recipe’, these practitioners were mere passive receivers of wisdom ‘from on-high’…
4. We will never however succeed in solving such a massive problem of computation.
5. Every attempt was made to ensure the data gathered represented the population.
6. The researcher’s assumptions and his interest and motivation shape his methodology and are also guided by some theoretical considerations. In the present case, the researcher made the decision to …. [In a later section:] Because of some problem on the planned day of data collection, I was unable to obtain any data from the third group.
7. This suggests the question of whether linguistic perception precedes production. The answer to this question is, however, beyond the scope of this research. [end of section]
8. Clark (1984, as cited in Johnson, 1999), among others, maintains that… [Bibliography includes only reference to Johnson, 1999, which is an unpublished PhD thesis from the same university.]
9. Reference in a thesis on English language teaching:] Harvey, O. J. (1986). Belief systems and attitudes towards the death penalty and other punishments. Journal of Personality, 26(2), 175-193.
10. [The only non-English reference in a particular thesis bibliography:] Vygotsky, L. S. (1956). Izbranni psikhologicheskie issledovaniya. Moscow: Izdatel’stvo Akademii Pedagogicheskikh Nauk.
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PROBLEMS IN PhD STUDENTS’ THESIS DRAFT MATERIAL
1. The methodology began with a quick look at the data, followed by a more careful analysis…
COMMENT: The writer implies that the first part of the methodology was not careful.
2. The subjects were subject to a battery of tests…
COMMENT: The writer has used the same word with two different meanings in close proximity, which is confusing.
3. Given the accepted ‘recipe’, these practitioners were mere passive receivers of wisdom ‘from on-high’…
COMMENT: The single quotes are used to signify that the words are not to be taken in their literal sense but rather in a meaning of ‘as it were’. They are therefore not precise, and the reader does not know precisely what the writer is referring to by ‘recipe’ and ‘from on-high’.
4. We will never__however__ succeed in solving such a massive problem of computation.
COMMENT: The reference of we is vague and therefore has no clear meaning. However interrupts the main sentence structure and so should be set off by commas on either side.
5. Every attempt was made to ensure__the data gathered represented the population.
COMMENT: Every attempt is an exaggeration. That is missing after ensure.
6. The researcher’s assumptions and his interest and motivation shape his methodology and are also guided by some theoretical considerations. In the present case, the researcher made the decision to …. [In a later section:] Because of some problem on the planned day of data collection, I was unable to obtain any data from the third group.
COMMENT: The writer has used the researcher both as a generic, i.e. to refer to researchers in general and to refer to himself, thus leading to potential confusion for the reader. The writer has also inconsistently, and less formally, used first-person reference (I) to refer to himself. As one final point, the writer has used a masculine pronoun (his) in a generic way, that is, to refer to all researchers. The generic masculine is old-fashioned and no longer accepted for most academic writing (e.g. many academic journals will not accept it). To avoid it, plural researchers…their can be selected instead.
7. This suggests the question of whether linguistic perception precedes production. The answer to this question is, however, beyond the scope of this research. [end of section]
COMMENT: This is used twice in two succeeding sentences with a possible same or different reference each time. The reference of the first this must be to something discussed in the preceding sentence or context, which the reader will have to infer. It is thus not very precise or explicit. The second use of this in the phrase this research could be the same as the first one, i.e. the writer could mean to refer to some research just described in the preceding context. However, this research could also refer to the writer’s own research, that which is described in the thesis. A further problem is that if the question raised is suggested by something in the discussion preceding the above passage, the reader may not accept the writer’s decision that the answer, or at least some further discussion of possible answers, would be beyond the scope of the research.
8. Clark (1984, as cited in Johnson, 1999), among others, maintains that… [Bibliography includes only reference to Johnson, 1999, which is an unpublished PhD thesis from the same university.]
COMMENT: The writer has taken a shortcut by referencing Clark’s work via Johnson’s work. This kind of “second-hand” referencing is acceptable only when the original source (in this case, Clark’s 1984 work) is impossible to obtain. If it can be obtained, a scholar is always expected to read and reference original sources. Even if it cannot, some readers might raise an issue about one thesis using the references from another written at the same institution. This also looks like a questionable or unacceptable shortcut.
9. [Reference in a thesis on English language teaching:] Harvey, O. J. (1986). Belief systems and attitudes towards the death penalty and other punishments. Journal of Personality, 26(2), 175-193.
COMMENT: The reader will wonder why an article on the death penalty is relevant and was selected for inclusion in this thesis.
10. [The only non-English reference in a particular thesis bibliography:] Vygotsky, L. S. (1956). Izbranni psikhologicheskie issledovaniya. Moscow: Izdatel’stvo Akademii Pedagogicheskikh Nauk.
COMMENT: Unless the writer reads Russian, this reference could not have been read in the original. If the translation was read, then that is what should have been cited.